I'm a feminist. I love birth control. I love sex. I think all uterine-bodied people should have control over their own birth control. I love the idea of long-term birth control that can't be taken away no matter what legislation is passed by the idiots in office. So obviously, I wanted to love the Mirena IUD. I really did. And some parts of it were awesome! Some parts I did love. But the cons outweighed the pros, overwhelmingly so. So today, I broke up with my IUD.
I loved my eleven months without a real period instead of my usual monthly panty massacre. I loved not having to take a pill every day. I loved being able to be spontaneous with sex. But the cramps it caused, the weight gain, the mood swings and the cravings, the bloating, the GI issues, the medical trauma caused by insertion, the incredibly painful sex - all of those things are part of the reason these past eleven months have been some of the worst of my life. Here's my tale of woe:
- August 2016. I just turned 19. I'm in the wonderful beginnings of a healthy, happy, monogamous relationship with a boy. I want reliable birth control. I want my periods to lighten and I want to have less cramps. I tell my primary care physician. She tells me an IUD is a good idea. It'll lighten my flow and maybe even stop my period. It'll last until I'm 24, even. How awesome is that?
- September 2016. I go to my local Planned Parenthood, tell them I want an IUD and they say they'll insert it the same day. I tell them I want the smallest one, the Skyla. They say 'your cervix can handle the bigger one.' The doctor tells me my uterus is retroverted, or 'backwards'. She says my cervix is 'hard to find.' She grabs it with sharp forceps and wrenches it forward, then pushes the IUD in. It was the worst pain of my life. I wept from it, I fainted, my blood pressure rapidly dropped and when I woke up, they gave me a cup of apple juice to get my blood sugar back up and sent me on my way. I felt proud for getting it done, and excited for taking charge of my birth control. That night, I had cramps so bad I cried even more.
- December 2016. I've been dating the boy for four months now and we're sleeping together a lot. Sex is starting to get really painful and I'm starting to have daily cramps to the point where I'm missing class and work because of them.
- January 2017. Sex is unbearable. And not only does it hurt, I just don't have a libido anymore. Weird for me. It's putting strain on my relationship. I'm only 19 and I can't help but feel like I'm less of a woman because of it.
- February 2017. I weigh myself, because my clothes are fitting funny. I've gained weight. I brush it off. No sex for me, still. Luckily, the boy sticks around anyway. He's a good one.
- May 2017. I'm admitted to the ER with a bladder infection in the middle of the night. Passed a kidney stone. Very weird for a 20 year old woman. The boy hold my hand in the hospital bed. Tells me he loves me. I love him too.
- June 2017. My primary care doctor tells me I should consider different birth control. Refers me to a gynecologist. Prescribes antibiotics for the bladder infection.
- July 2017. My gynecologist tells me I probably have endometriosis. It can only be formally diagnosed through surgery. He says, 'do you want that surgery?' I say 'no, thank you.' Later in the month, I get a pelvic ultrasound. It hurts really badly. I cry. They say 'nothing on the ultrasound looked abnormal'. My gyno says 'maybe we should take the IUD out soon. Maybe that's causing the pain.' I say, 'yes, please. As soon as possible.'
- August 2017. Here we are today! I got it removed today. It hurt, sure, but not half as bad as insertion. And hopefully now I'll have less pain, be able to have sex again, and get back to my healthy previous weight. I'm also being put on a new birth control pill that's actually designed to help endometriosis.
I have my fingers crossed that it'll only go uphill from here. This has been a frustrating, scary and traumatic year for a lot of reasons, more than just my birth control. I'm ready to feel better.
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