What position are we put in when the institutions we belong to, whether it be a school, university, healthcare system, or otherwise, let us down? What would you do if you felt completely alone, abandoned and hated at a school you ran away to to try and find some solace?
Many students at my university feel alienated and bullied. Our school promotes a culture of activism and acceptance, but all too often that manifests in elitist, toxic, and sometimes hostile or even violent ways.
At this school, I've created a portfolio of amazing academic work. I've found love and family. I've made unforgettable friends. I've visited our sustainable farm, picked my own flowers, drank milk from the gentle cows we have living there, enjoyed my fair-trade coffee from the cafe in one of our two 'Living Buildings.' Although I'm on a scholarship and financial aid, I have an immense privilege being at this institution. Does that mean I don't have the right to criticize it?
Some other things that have happened during my time here:
- I've had my health concerns written off as unimportant, misdiagnosed, over-prescribed narcotics and medications that gave me an allergic reaction.
- I've been denied access to certain doctors and therapists. I've fought for and been denied the use of my academic credits.
- I've been physically attacked by a fellow student.
- I've been living on the same campus as known rapists for three years because the school won't expel them.
- I have been targeted on the internet, both by fascist bloggers and also by my peers here at the school: people who the school has since hired to work here.
- I've had pages made about me on social media dedicated to mocking not only my behavior and beliefs, but my body and appearance. I was attacked online so much I had to delete all my social medias and leave the state for a little while just to escape.
- I've been threatened, followed, hit, bitten, and sexually harassed here. My administration didn't do anything.
I'm not going to leave this school. I'm also not going to fight with the administration anymore. At this point, I feel defeated. I'm tired, and honestly, I feel kind of numb to all of it. I have one and a half years left, and I'm capable of 'toughing it out' and finishing my education.
But what about the students who aren't like me? The students who aren't in a place to stay and be strong enough to handle an institution that doesn't support them? What about the countless other women on this campus who have been assaulted? What about the people of color on this campus who don't feel represented by our administration? What about the disabled people who get through every day without any elevators in the residences?
This isn't a self-pity post, and it's not a cry for help. It's a letter of disappointment. I want the school to know that there are more of us than they think. We need support, and we're not getting it. We need qualified doctors and therapists. Reproductive health practitioners. Ramps. Elevators. Kind and understanding faculty who can help us through the instances of violence, verbal or physical, that we might face. I want my institution to listen to our voices. This is my shameless plea. I want our school to care about us.
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