Today we're going to talk about menstrual cups!
I have been using one on and off for about two years now, and let me tell you. They are a game. changer.
I use the Lena cup, because it's small, and they have one designed specifically for bodies that haven't given birth yet or have a lower cervix. I was uncomfortable putting a huge cup up in there, so I wanted to start small. Since it is smaller than average, I do find myself having to empty the cup more often because my flow is like a freaking hemorrhage.
So the first thing I did was buy it on Amazon. Then I waited for it to arrive. And boom. When it came, I was actually kind of excited for my next period! Luckily (lol not really) my period started only a few days after it came in the mail.
Then I started to logistically think about how the heck I was supposed to put it in there. I stared at it for a long time, thinking an object this shape couldn't possibly be designed for a vagina. Because it looks like this:
So I did some googling, and it turns out you're supposed to FOLD it, insert it while it's folded and then it 'POPS OPEN' inside you, and the lip of the cup creates a seal around your cervix. Naturally, I was terrified. Popping? Open? What? The fuck?
So I googled some more. "Menstrual cup folds." I found this! My favorite from that list is definitely the 'punchdown' fold, because it makes a nice small point like this:
So once I figured that out, I was ready for takeoff. Since I was a period-y mess, I decided to hop in the shower, hoping the water would make it easier as well. I found that the most effective way to do it was to pop my leg up on the rim of the bathtub, lookin' like a pirate captain conquering a new land, and just go for it! It was a lot easier than I thought. They said I wouldn't be able to feel it once I inserted it, and honestly, I felt a little bit of weird pressure for the first hour or so, but after that it was smooth sailing! So much so that I was worried it wasn't working.
Oh, but it was. 8 hours later, I went to go to the bathroom again for my late-evening skincare and bedtime routine. I stood over the toilet, again in that Captain Morgan-piratey position with my socked foot on the toilet bowl, and carefully removed it. It was actually fascinating to see how grossly full it was. There's a weird sense of pride that comes with looking at how much you bled in eight hours. Seriously though be careful with this part, because if you pull it out fast or it pops open in your hand, you could be faced with a Dexer-level blood splatter scene in the bathroom.
The next step was to wash the cup with warm soapy water (if it had been the end of my cycle I would've boiled it for 5-10 minutes) and pop it back in before bedtime. It was pretty nice to be able to fall asleep while using a period product and not have the looming fear of toxic shock. HOWEVER, it did dislodge in my sleep and I basically got out of bed in the morning and blood, like, fell out of me and onto my linoleum dorm room floor. Whoops. I realized when I took it out that I had folded it sloppily.
All in all, though, I would highly recommend a menstrual cup to anyone who gets periods. They make them for every level of flow, every body type, and even in fun colors. They're easy to use and honestly so much cheaper than traditional period products, which is great if you're a broke college student like myself. They can't give you toxic shock, they're SO much better for the environment, and they take a good chunk of stress out of your period. And if you're like me, you want to make your period as stress-free as possible.
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