Radical Body Acceptance and Healing

Body love is hard. There’s a reason loving one’s body is a revolutionary act: it’s because it’s hard as shit. ​

Since day one, we are taught that our bodies always have room for improvement. Even if you’re thin and white and able-bodied, you could still stand to get a bigger bust, have clearer skin, shinier hair, whiter teeth. 

I have struggled with body image and body dysmorphia problems for a long time. It’s caused me to crash diet, to restrict, to work out as compensation for eating a “bad” food, to feel less than, to compare myself to other bodies, to look in the mirror and pinch and pull at my skin, hoping the “excess” would just shrink away and I’d magically become thin. It has hurt my relationships. It has put strain on my loved ones. 

I’ve been on a journey for the past few years of rediscovering and falling in love with myself. I’ve been exploring new things - physically, emotionally, sexually. During this, I’ve been learning a lot about my relationship with food and UN-learning a lot of stuff I picked up growing up as a girl in the US. 

Here are some things I learned:

• Everyone has to eat. Multiple meals a day. No matter how much they ate yesterday. No matter what time of year it is. No matter what they weigh.
• When I eat whole, nourishing food until my belly is full, my body feels happy.
• When I eat fast food or ‘junk food’, it tastes good and it brings me happiness, but it gives me indigestion. It’s something I should enjoy in moderation. 
• It is also okay to eat just because something tastes good or because you want the texture of it in your mouth. You are allowed to eat for pleasure. 
• Going off of that, no food is inherently ‘bad’ or ‘junk.’ It’s the way society has set us up to believe that certain things we do are ‘bad,’ which makes us feel bad, which compels us to engage deeper in the system of diet culture and fucked up body image on which capitalism thrives.
• When I move, doing exercise I like, my body feels happy. My body loves dancing, kickboxing, yoga and pilates. My body hates running, and that’s okay. Your body doesn’t have to love cardio.

 Here are some things I UN-learned:

• Carbs are not the devil. Sugar is not the devil.
• Aspartame, the main ingredient in a lot of ‘diet’ drinks, is more detrimental to the brain than sugar. But again, no food is inherently ‘bad.’ If you love diet soda (like I do) then go for it.
• ‘Cheat days’ are fucking stupid. Food should not be moralized.
• Working out is awesome, and you can do it because you want to, not because you feel like you need to change the shape of your body.
• Working out when I want and eating what and when I want is something I can do because I love myself and my body. It doesn’t have to be a punishment.